The gender of our baby is still a mystery to us and will be for another 16 weeks. JC and I have chosen not to find out the gender of Baby Fultz until he or she decides to arrive. This decision has brought along with it many opinions on the matter, some positive and some not-so-positive.
First, I’ll share why I chose not to find out our baby’s gender. Long before I was pregnant waiting until birth to find out the gender was something I thought I wanted to do. My parents did this with both myself (even though my Mom says it wasn’t an option to find out when I was born) and my brother. They shared how extra special the experience was because of this long-awaited surprise. Similar to what my parents recounted, a few friends have recently waited until birth for the gender reveal and said it was definitely worth the wait and most likely the best surprise they will ever get in their entire life.
With those words of wisdom in the back of my head I suggested waiting for the gender reveal to JC very early in the pregnancy. I could tell he was a little skeptical about the idea and wasn’t sure if he could wait that long. Nine months is a long time! We would revisit the topic off and on before it was time for the second trimester ultrasound when we would be able to know if Baby was a girl or boy. JC was still on the fence about the issue; however I was dead set on not finding out the gender.
Once our second trimester ultrasound arrived we both agreed that we wanted to wait. When we told the ultrasound technician of our wish she was extremely surprised and had to take extra measures to make sure we didn’t see any body parts to distinguish the sex. All of the pictures are profiles of the upper body. Right now, we haven’t seen any of the lower half of Baby Fultz’s body and won’t until his or her birthday. Once we were in the room with the Doctor the first thing he said when looking at my chart was, “It looks like you’re having a (short pause) .. oh! we don’t know!”
He seemed to be a little shocked that we weren’t finding out the sex since the majority of people do find out before birth. Among the six co-workers JC and I work with who have had a baby recently or are having babies soon, we are the only couple to wait until birth to find out the sex.
When co-workers or friends ask what we are having they too are always surprised we are choosing to wait. The most common comment I’ve heard from people when they ask the gender and we tell them we won’t know until birth is: “I can’t believe you aren’t finding out the gender! Planning for the baby is going to be so hard. I couldn’t stand to wait that long!”
My response to them is always: “We will be happy with a girl or a boy. All that matters is that he or she is healthy and happy!”
They are right are about the difficult planning comment in some sense. Most stores only sell items in gender specific clothing (pinks and purples for girls and blues and greens for boys). This has made buying baby items a little more difficult, but all good things come with a little challenge. Plus the thought of already putting a baby, who hasn’t even entered the world to show us their personality and likes/dislikes, into a stereotypical box bothers me a little. To be a good, prepared mother doesn’t mean I need to have all blue items in the closet for a little boy, or all bows and pink clothes for a little girl. I want my baby to feel free to express themselves in whatever color they want, not what society thinks they should be wearing.
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| One of the gender neutral onsies a friend sent us. |
In life there are many surprises, some good and some bad. Good surprises are probably one of the best things in life. I know when we first lay eyes on Baby Fultz and see him or her for the first time and hear the Doctor say "It's a girl!" or "It's a boy!", that is going to be the best surprise of our entire lives -- well worth the 9 month wait!
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